Wacky Wasteland

	Quest: Wacky Wasteland
	The Quest-Giver is: Hasso the Farmer in In the A Tent in the Wasteland location
Destination:	{{{access}}}	{{{dest}}}
Party Access:	{{{party}}}	{{{shared}}}
Requirements:	none
Completion:	wip
Rewards:	wip XP wip Caps ? Karma wip
Repeatable:	No		{{{timer}}}
Notes:

Come, Muttley! It's time to take over the world! Well, that's settled: I've gone bonkers...

This story begins when you accept an invitation into "the void" as a result of speaking with Hasso, the husband in A Tent in the Wasteland temporary camp. He disappears and a dark, foreboding and shadowy figure appears in his place.

NOTE: You are warned this is not for beginners, and is the "Evil Campaign".

NOTE: You can run this quest and Blood-Soaked Heroes at the same time, but it has been reported that this quest prevents you from getting an important message in Hub's Post Office, effectively stopping your progress in the main story.

NOTE: This quest line is not finished. Read below to find out more.

Accepting the quest

This needs to be done with good timing, as the tent with Hasso will disappear if you do not advance the plot of A_Tent_in_the_Wasteland within a specific frame of time. It is not known how long, but a few IRL days is enough to miss it.

Rewards

• Tragic addiction

Mission 1

Your first goal is to find a spaceship in Hub. This is by far the hardest part of the quest line, as the truth is there is no spaceship so to speak of. Since this is "wacky" wasteland, so is our character, quest related NPCs and motives of these characters.

While you may want to try and find the "spaceship" on your own, the next paragraph continues with the actual solution. Various NPCs across the Hub have dialog options related to the spaceship in question which may give you the idea one of them knows its location which is nothing further from the truth.

Your character will realize they found their spaceship once they talk to Father Confessor, who preaches in the Church of the Followers of the Apocalypse, in the northern part of Water Merchants district in the Hub. There he will transform into the previously mentioned sinister figure and go on about the usual evil business. After that, he will task you with delivering a bag of bones to a certain prisoner located in the Hub's police department.

Rewards

• randomly broken limbs
• more soon, re-running the quest

Mission 2

You must deliver the bag of bones to one of the prisoners in the Hub's police department. The dialog should go pretty smooth and the prisoner in question will begin to experience unimaginable fear when presented with the bones. You goof off with the bones and observe as the poor prisoner boils and dies in agonizing pain. You have the option to take the bones back with you.

Rewards

You report back to Father Confessor and during this crazy encounter you destroy a statue and inside you find your reward, which gets you to go on the next part.

• 2 fool's gold, 5 if you took the bones
• 2 golden nuggets, 3 if you took the bones
• 2500 xp

Hmm... I received some Gold Nuggets... and a few pieces of Fool's Gold! I wonder what the purpose of this was? I feel like maybe I was given two fake nuggets for a reason! Better keep one safe in case I lose one. I don't think I'll get many second chances! This Fool's Gold must be used for something special! I'd better guard it with my life! Should visit a banker next, maybe get it appraised? Maybe it isn't just Fool's Gold! But something rather supernatural instead!

Mission 3

You decide you need to ask the Hub's banker to appraise the worth of your fool's gold on the off-chance it isn't fool's gold. During the conversation, the banker gets killed with the fool's gold.

Rewards

• 2000 xp

Tally ho, Muttley! To the city of gold! To the safest town in the city! To Redding! Redding! The city of heroes! And villains, of course! We swim! We fly! We arrive soon! I fucking hope so! Holy crap! Why do my feet hurt so much? Have I really been using them for transportation?! What's wrong with me!! They're meant for dancing!

Mission 4

You must travel to Redding to have your fool's gold inspected by a jeweler. Not just any jeweler. The NPC which you must reach is literally called "Jeweler", he's a black gentleman wearing a red shirt and lives in the eastern part of Redding between molerat cages, south of the billboard saying "Molerat mambo". Once you reach him, through the powers vested in you by dialog options, you bludgeon him to death with your fool's gold. While doing so, the fool's gold cracks open to reveal a crystal necklace inside.

The dialog's premise is that you find the jeweler drunk. You assume he insulted your mother in his drunken muttering. You confront him about it but he's just as bewildered and surprised as you. Typical for a delirious loony, you don't take this kind of smug crap from him and smash his head open with the fool's gold. Despite the dialog options' assurances, you do not lose any fool's gold you carry.

Rewards

• Crystal necklace
• 3500 xp

Oh, wow! A glimmering jewel! I wonder what the fuck this is for?! It's too bad that I killed that Jeweler! His knowledge of precious gems would have been useful, damn! I should visit some sort of place... with the word "Golden" in it. Maybe that'll unveil some answers?

Mission 5

Go to Golden Globes porn studio in New Reno and talk to Sid.

Sid is upset you're bothering him. He asks rhetorically if he looks like a banker and tells you to get bent. You're an evil villain and you take no shit from nobody, and so you give him to the count of banana to lie down and kill himself. You count to banana within the same dialog option you present him this wacky opportunity to redeem his offensive behavior to you. He's surprised but he doesn't live to tell the rest of his feelings as you pounce on him and viciously stab him to death, resulting in a gratifying explosive death animation.

Rewards

• 4000 xp
• Ball gag
• Rubber doll, "Tandi" model
• 2 red condoms
• 2 green condoms
• 2 blue condoms
• -20 karma

Mission 6

You decide on a complete whim that you must kill another banker and wonder if Hub has a new one already. Killing any banker through dialog options should work, but I tried the Hub one and it worked too.

Mission 7

I'm not sure if this was because I accidentally provoked Dangerous Dan McGrew into getting killed by me, thinking this was part of the plot, but I ended up with various valuables at this point.

Madness has given you the next clue to follow - you must find a person who likes to talk about the Holy Flame. This person is actually the main preacher inside of the Cathedral_of_the_Lost located south of San_Francisco.

Admittedly the conversation with this preacher is pretty funny, so I won't spoil it to you. After the funny part, you two realize that the fool's gold you carried around everywhere is the famous godstone. Awesome as it may be, the preacher is clueless what to do with this and a bloodbath between everyone in the cathedral ensues. You are kept safe, as the fight happens only in roleplay square brackets in the dialog. At the end, the godstone forces you to absorb it and you find the preacher to be the last surviving person in the massive fight. You have the option of taking his stuff, but it's no use as he sets on fire, his sprite turns into the smiling burning man and this is where the quest line ends. For now.

Rewards so far

• crystal necklace
• 500 Kokoweef mines crips
• 500 Morningstar mine scrips
• 1000 NCR dollars

Requirements

• None whatsoever, so far

Rewards

• Gold nuggets
• Fool's gold
• Golden teeth
• Crystal necklace
• NPC loot

Hints

• This quest does not involve any combat despite gruesome descriptions of violence, death and intimidation present in dialogs.
• Prepare a car or 10 scouting books to make travelling to Hub, Redding, New Reno and Cathedral_of_the_Lost much easier.

Related

• Hub
• Redding
• New Reno
• Cathedral_of_the_Lost